Email I sent Joe on our 9th Anniversary

FullSizeRenderHey Babe,

I wrote this for you for our anniversary today and so, when you can take a minute, let these words soak in. I’m so in love with you and so honored to build this life with you.


It’s been nine years since I walked down that aisle towards you. We held hands and made promises and walked back out together to our future.

We didn’t know then that we’d eventually keep on walking out of that place and right out of our very skin becoming new people in so many ways. Walking on together is what we’ve become good at – moving through these stages of life, together.  Gracefully having the ability to look at each other and affirm the goodness between us even when the world is swirling around us.

We’ve seen each other at our mightiest and our most debilitated and neither of us has side stepped or flinched. We’ve never failed our covenant to show up and love.

We’re learning how to love one another at our best and at our bland and at the bottom of ourselves. So far, this looks like clapping over our heads in full The Pursuit of Happyness style because sometimes life feels that hard and victories require a slow clap with tears streaming down our cheeks. It’s doing Captain Keith’s fist pumps from Deadliest Catch, including sound effects (“Ugnx, ugnx, ugnx” or something like that:)).  It looks like you doing baths while I do dishes or the other way around, day in and day out. It’s “wow not how” and “I’ll do bedtime” and “I’ll take the kids out for a bit so you get some space” and “thank you” and “I can’t wait to hang out with you on the couch”. It’s thoughtfully planned meals and intentional habits and picking up the slack and the acknowledgment of a hard days work.  It’s grabbing the lotion for a foot rub without saying a word and scratchies and waking in the middle of the night because sometimes that when we need to know we’re not alone.  It’s a glass of scotch waiting with a tender question to get the ball rolling. We ebb and we flow and we sit, present and all in.

I want you to know I like you. I’d choose to hang out with you over anyone else. I can’t get enough of talking with you about anything and everything. I like the things you think so deeply about and articulate so beautifully…like about our souls and your inner world and the absurdity of this big outer world. I like that you share all of those spaces with me.

I like us. I like all things we’ve established over time that make us, us: like how we do money, and how we do dreams, how we speak to each other, and how lead our family together, and how we make decisions and parent together. I like how you come close, saddle right up next to my heart, never letting either one of us ever feel too far away. You are so good at that.

I love all the ways, for 9 years, we have followed through with our vows and grown them to mean so much more.

I’m grateful for the hum in me that recognized the hum in you.

Here’s to picking well, even when we have no idea how that happened.

You have my heart and P.S. I love you.