Ah, status updates. I usually update my status on facebook once every few days. I usually feel a small sense of trepidation before I make an announcement to the world, so I don’t do it that often. Plus, I have this feeling that everything I am doing/thinking is not really all that worthy of a written update. Technically, my updates should always be “Catie is on facebook” or “Catie is updating her status” because those are most true to form.
Last night, I was situating myself for bed, which is a feat in it of itself because our bed is really high off the ground and getting in and out with this belly is a masterful art of aerobics, but after I catapulted myself on the bed, I made an announcement, “This pillow is not working” and a few minutes later, I made another one, “I need TUMS.” I was not saying this anyone in particular, namely my husband because he was the only one in the room (I hope), but I was simply updating the world on my status. Genius! I realized for the first time that though I am not great at the facebook status update, I am the master of The Verbal Status Update (I’ve capitalized those words for emphasis). Yes! The Verbal Status Update! I am constantly doing it! This type of communication occurs purely in spoken form and is directed toward everyone and no one within earshot, all at the same time. I have a feeling I have done this my whole life, but since I have been pregnant the rate at which I am verbally updating my status is off the charts.
Some common verbal updates these days:
“This baby is moving a lot.”
“I’m so lop-sided”
“Alright, time to put the feet up.”
“This baby is so low, I feel like he is going to fall out.”
“I am out of breathe and I just walked to the kitchen.”
“And I have to pee again.”
Sometimes I just grunt, moan, or sigh. These also count as verbal updates.
The privileged few who get to hear my verbal status updates (or VSU) are, of course, Joe, and the wonderful people I work with – my dear friends, Sarah and Kaity. I bet they do not find my VSUs as amusing as I do, so I think I will try to make them more entertaining for their sake. Sorry guys – funnier VSUs coming your way!